I had a really weird dream. A third-string quarterback for the Cleveland Browns threw for 321 yards and three touchdowns. It was Brian Hoyer’s second career start in the NFL. And he led his team to a wild come-from-behind victory over Minnesota. And he had just lost his star running back Trent Richardson to a trade. And he even lost his kicker mid-game. Perhaps even more miraculous, he did all of this without a logo on his helmet.
My dream was also filled with visions of Jets. Scoring. Winning.
Bilal Powell ran for 149 yards on 27 carries. Yes, the one who plays for the Jets. Yes, the Jets.
C.J. Spiller mustered only 10 yards on nine carries. Against the Jets. The 2-1 Jets.
Adrian Peterson looked like the other Adrian Peterson. Marshawn Lynch ate too many Skittles. Eli Manning was sacked seven times. And it was revealed that every Packers running back is destined for injury.
Collin Kaepernick flashed more tattoos than fantasy points. Darryl Richardson took off the walking boot for one play, and only one play. His backup Isaiah Pead looked pead-iful. And Browns running back Willis McGahee ran for nine yards on eight carries.
Oh wait. That’s the Browns I remember. I guess it wasn’t a dream.
Last week fantasy pundits, including myself, looked rather silly giving advice that wasn’t that, um, helpful. I am definitely responsible for ruining the occasional fantasy team. Perhaps yours included. To err is human, right? But to dish out bad fantasy advice in bulk form is blasphemy.
I am sorry. If it makes you feel any better, Browns punter Spencer Lanning, who threw a touchdown pass and kicked an extra point, scored more points than my starting quarterback. As a punter.
You’ve got to shake it off. Sometimes you’re the windshield, and sometimes you’re the bug. I think waiver wire therapy is just what you need. Check out these options. You’ll feel better. But remember, just like last week, there are no guarantees.
Josh Gordon, WR, Cleveland Browns – Although speculated to be on the trading block (along with the rest of the Browns), Gordon made a flashy debut with 146 yards on 10 receptions, including a 46-yard score. I realize he faces the Bengals in week 4, but he’s more than a filler. I consider him a low WR2 or WR3 with a tough matchup. Available in 29 percent of Yahoo leagues.
Willis McGahee, RB, Cleveland Browns – Wait. Give the guy a break. He was the new guy on the job. He had just learned how to clock in when he was forced to face the Vikings run defense. The totals weren’t pretty. But McGahee did lead all Browns backs with eight carries. That’s the good news. But for nine yards. Nine measly yards. It’ll get better. Trust me. Available in 50 percent of Yahoo leagues.
Kenbrell Thompkins, WR, New England Patriots – Finally. Brady finally connected with the rookie receiver, who reeled in three receptions for 41 yards and two touchdowns. Although Thompkins had been targeted 21 times in his first two games, he was only able to snag six of those passes. And remember those are special Tom Brady-thrown passes! Poor route running and inexperience is to blame. But he looked good on Sunday. Good for a WR3 slot until he shows consistency. Available in 40 percent of Yahoo leagues.
Jason Snelling, RB, Atlanta Falcons – Jacquizz Rodgers was the early favorite off the wire when Steven Jackson went down with a hamstring injury. Rodgers finished Sunday with a respectable 86 yards on the ground and seven in the air. But Snelling looked like the lead back with 111 total yards, including a touchdown reception in the first quarter. Pay close attention to this one. Snelling could sneak away with the starting role until Jackson returns. Available in 82 percent of Yahoo leagues.
Fred Jackson, RB, Buffalo Bills – Spiller’s knee injury could shake up this little time-share. Look for Jackson to be the lead back in week 4, when the Bills take on the Ravens. Available in 35 percent of Yahoo leagues.
Brandon Bolden, RB, New England Patriots – With Shane Vereen sidelined, and Steven Ridley’s ho hum performance, the Pats are searching for solutions. On Sunday, Bolden led the team with 51 yards on three carries, including a 46-yarder. Bolden also caught five passes for 49 yards. How long will this stick? Keep it mind Bill Belichick runs this team. Available in 97 percent of Yahoo leagues.
Tedd Ginn Jr., WR, Carolina Panthers – Sunday’s contest against the Giants yielded Ginn three catches for 71 yards and a touchdown. The Panthers are on a bye week 4, but looking ahead to week 5, Ginn is a decent WR3, especially with four teams on byes. On an unrelated note, wouldn’t it be cool if he had a teammate named Tonic? Available in 97 percent of Yahoo leagues, and bars everywhere. Oh, my editor just told me it’s not pronounced “gin.”
Erin Skelley joins Texans Radio every week on SportsRadio 610. Follow her on Twitter @erinskelley. She’ll babble fantasy to anyone who will listen.