During Wednesday's press conference to announce the training camp partnership between the Texans and HBO/NFL Films, it struck me that this is the first reality show to take place in Houston. Since getting locked in on Real World in the early 1990s on MTV and Survivor in 2000, which truly set reality TV a blaze, I've watched my share of reality shows. I'm not scared to admit it.
So sitting in and listening on Wednesday, I couldn't help but think about Texans spin off reality shows…
The Bachelor...featuring J.J. Watt - 25 girls vie for the attention of the best defensive player on the planet. Dates will take place at weight rooms and gyms around the country and the world. He won't hand out roses, he'll hand out weight belts.
"Susan, do you accept this belt?"
"Then, drop and give me 20."
Fear Factor (remember that one?)...with Ben Jones. I'd put my man up against anyone, anytime. Food challenges...pfffft, nothing. Worms. Bugs. Whatever. Ben would crush anyone. I just don't think Ben fears anything, even lying in a casket of cockroaches or whatever Fear Factor could drum up.
The Ultimate Fighter...punter version, featuring our own Shane Lechler. This is one of the best shows ever and puts a couple dozen or so UFC candidates in the same house and then lets them compete with one another for just ONE spot in the UFC. Our version would be for NFL punters to enter the house, all 32 of them, and let the competition commence. Lechler's crafty, I'd put money on him.
Project Runway with Kareem Jackson...you saw his fashion line last year, right? I've got to say the man knows fashion, now can he create it? Not to mention, an NFL player in with the "normal" designers would be worth the cutaway vignettes alone.
"Kareem, what do you think about Violet's open back cocktail dress?" Oh, the possibilities are endless.
Next Iron Chef with Vince Wilfork? Imagine 12 of the best defensive linemen in the NFL in a Food Network cooking competition for the ages. Not sure what Ndamukong Suh and Gerald McCoy will cook up, but I'll take Wilfork's ribs any day.
The Real Defensive Backs of Houston…just take my word for it. I just want to be able to host the "reunion" show at the end of the season like Andy Cohen of Bravo does for his Real Housewives series.
So You Think You Can Dance...nah, I'm not anyone putting that on anyone.
Keeping up with the Coaches. The Kardashians would have nothing on the hijinks of this coaching staff (tongue lodged firmly in cheek)
American Idol? Can Jonathan Grimes sing too? I know he can play the piano.
Marc Vandermeer on the Voice. The Voice on the Voice. I think Adam Levine would turn around, no?
Alas, none of those will ever happen, but a man can at least daydream a bit.
Take a look at photos from the Houston Texans' first day of OTAs.