BWTB: When Football 101 needs help


My football world and my other world, like life and family and such, don't ever really intersect. But, this week, I realized I needed help and had only one place to turn.

So, I'll essentially paraphrase the story. A Houston Texans fan tweeted to JJ Watt on Wednesday and mentioned that he was her "bae". Now, color me old or out of touch, but I've heard that term but had no clue what it meant. Then, a few minutes later, the Houston Texans, yes our Houston Texans twitter account, responded with "totes".

Again, no clue.

I wasn't the only one. Watt eventually tweeted back to the two entities somewhat as clueless as I was.

Bae? Totes? It's like a weird, twisted 2015 version of Valley Girl, the 1980s iconic film classic.

But, as I didn't know much about millennium text-speak, I needed help...and apparently so did Watt. Luckily, I had the help JJ needed.

Driving in the car on the way to school on Thursday morning, I went to my expert.

My 12-year old 7th grade daughter, Maye.

"Maye Maye, do you know what 'bae' means?"

"Of course. It means "before anyone else". But, people say "you're my bae", it means she likes you more than anyone else"

Nice, this whole parenting thing is paying off. So, I pushed it a bit further.

"Okay, so what does "totes" or "totes mcgotes" mean?"

"It means totally".

"Like Valley Girl?"

"What's Valley Girl?"

She'll learn soon enough, I suppose. But, consider that lesson learned for both JJ and myself. I think I'm going to incorporate that in my draft analysis in a few weeks.

"Oregon QB Marcus Mariota is totes mcgotes the best quarterback in the draft".

On second thought, maybe not.

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