It's a tradition unlike any other (because no one else would bother). The annual VanderMock is here! Always celebrated by the front office (laughing is a form of celebration, right?) For entertainment purposes, here are the picks…
Round 1 – Pat Mahomes, QB, Texas Tech
Pick #25 arrives and amidst the conversation in the war room, Wes Welker, in an effort to get a fellow Red Raider into the organization, grabs the phone and calls in the pick. Mahomes is a 'baller' who won't need to play right away and can take the time to learn the craft.
Round 2 – Roderick Johnson, OT, Florida State
Derek Newton's knees are still on the mend and Duane Brown is entering year 10 (Oh my!). It's time to take a tackle to fortify the position and Johnson is game for the task. He's 6'7", so the prospects are excellent for a dominant front court with Jadeveon Clowney if the Texans ever put together a charity basketball team.
Round 3 – Marcus Williams, S, Utah**
At present time, Quintin Demps is an unrestricted free agent and Andre Hal is entering year four of his rookie deal (wait, what?!). Williams is a ball hawk who created 18 turnovers. Sign me up for some of that!
Round 4 – Jordan Leggett, TE, Clemson
Dude caught seven passes for 95 yards against Alabama in one of the greatest championship games ever. He also had five grabs for a buck-22 against Florida State. He's 6-5, 265. Let's do this!
Round 5 – Ejuan Price, OLB Pitt
Don't talk to me about lack of this or that. He had nearly 30 sacks in college and some guys just have a knack for getting to the quarterback. Plus, his nickname is E-Diddy. As the play-by-play guy, I will lobby hard to have a guy with that moniker on the team!
Round 6 – Taquan Mizzell, RB Virginia
After the combine I won't be able to make this pick here because he'll run a 4.4. His teammates call him 'Smoke.' He also catches everything you throw at him out of the backfield. He'll make some team very happy.
Round 7 – Ben Braden, OG, Michigan
It's the end of the draft and everyone is getting a bit tired and cranky (not the Texans front office, really, just me and the radio crew). It's about time to take an offensive linemen from the upper Midwest. At 6-6, 335, Braden could join a Game of Thrones road show with C.J. Fiedorowicz when they both retire. But he'll do his best to help the team first.