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The DeepSlant Week In Review


With a long weekend coming up, I'm hosting out of town guests. I love having a full house of friends and family, don't get me wrong, but coming up with entertainment ideas, logistics, sleeping arrangements, menus for each meal requires planning. Forget about any semblance of a schedule like eating healthy or working out or even being lazy and hanging out in pajamas.

It's basically like being on a stay-cation except instead of relaxing at a hotel, you're working like the staff.

What does this have to do with the Texans and Week in Review, you ask?

Well, my week has ironically paralleled J.J. Watt's.

  1. This week I have friends visiting from New Jersey for the Easter holiday. Four people. Two are children. Watt had guests too. (Unless you're living under a rock, it's been all over social media. Watt's guests, not mine. But we'll get to that in a bit.)
  1. Watt had a birthday on Tuesday. My son also did and turned nine.
  1. That's it, really. The similarities end there.

Anyway, while I've spent my week fretting about four people, Watt's been singlehandedly entertaining half a football team at his Wisconsin cabin. And celebrating his birthday.

And guess what? You know what you shouldn't watch if you don't want to feel inept as a host/hostess?

J.J. Watt's snapchat.

Sidenote: I stopped watching Martha Stewart's show years ago for a similar reason. I mean, who has time to make their own themed table centerpieces from scratch?


A wheatgrass table runner for Easter? Seriously? Please tell me people don't make this. (Bangs head on non-wheatgrass, boring wood table.)

All this week, Watt has been snapping updates of him and his houseguests. Just thinking about feeding all those grown men had me breaking out in hives.

He also celebrated his 27th birthday. I bet he even already wrote all of his thank-you cards and mailed them too. (We all know that person!) Meanwhile, I'm happy to report I've got my son's party on the calendar. Success!

So if we're keeping score:

-Private plane to pick up guests

-I'll pick you up outside baggage claim. Try to not arrive during rush hour times in Houston. This should leave you a three-hour window of arrival times.

-Will keep you healthy and on your exercise plan.

-Will keep you well-fed and I'll park the car a bit further from the Tex-Mex restaurants so you can get some extra cardio.

You get to play laser tag with Shane Lechler, Brian Cushing, etc.

I have some laser guns and you can play with my kids who are pretty fast. Like with all their toys, you'll have to find working batteries first.

While Watt was hosting half the team in Wisconsin, all the NFL owners and general managers were being hosted in sunny Boca Raton, Florida. The annual owners meeting took place this week which meant ten new rule changes for the 2016 season.

It got me thinking about my own rule changes for hosting.

  1. If you want a table runner with grass, have a picnic sans blanket.
  1. Yeah, that's pretty much it. See you outside baggage claim.

Until next week!

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