VanderMock 1.0: Adding to the secondary

After weeks of research (ok, several minutes, really) and painstaking review (I’m pretty sure there are only a minimal amount of typos) here is the first stab at who the Texans might pick. I tried to catch up with Brian Gaine in the hallway to tell him about this, but for some reason when he saw me, he started running.

Round 1

Greedy Williams, CB, LSU

Look, I’m a play-by-play guy… I’m not passing up a defensive player nicknamed ‘Greedy.’ I know you’re seeing him go higher in the mocks. But hey, Whitney Mercilus once fell to the Texans at 26th overall in 2012. And those of you screaming, “don’t we need help at tackle?!” Hold on to your smartphones. We have no idea yet what’s happening in free agency. And virtually every corner on the roster had some trouble with injuries last year.

Round 2

Cody Ford, OT, Oklahoma

This is a big (6-4, 330) high-motor mauler who loves to knock large people over. He played on arguably the best line in football and will undoubtedly inspire ‘he’s a 10-year starter’ type comments. I still think our young tackles can improve. And I love that Seantrel Henderson gets to give it another go. But more help is needed. And if he turns out to be a great guard instead, like John Harris thinks, so be it. Ford appears to be able to help a team right away.

Trayvon Mullen, CB, Clemson

Wait, corner again? Yes! I think back to the Philly game. For much of it you didn’t have J-Joe, Kareem and you lost Kayvon Webster in his bid to finally contribute. This is a position of need. And if the product says ‘Clemson’ on the label, I’m buying. I might just make my whole draft out of guys who played college ball in the Palmetto state. After I saw this guy with a sack, pick and forced fumble against ‘Bama, I was in!

Round 3

Andy Isabella, WR, UMass

I know what you’re thinking. “Are you crazy?! We’ve got receivers… and we definitely don’t need a slot guy!” You’re going to be really upset when I tell you he’s 5-8. But… this kid will make an NFL team better and make defenses miserable. With all the injuries at WR, the Texans need more playmakers. If everyone is healthy, then Bill O’Brien and Tim Kelly have what you call a luxury problem.  I have to take him here because there’s no fourth-round pick. And if I don’t do it, Bill Belichick is a lock to pull the trigger.

Round 4

There is no pick in this round. It starts late in the morning on Day 3. Everyone will be caffeined up, raring to go. So, it’s obvious that the first available pick will bolster the offense…

Round 5

David Montgomery, RB, Iowa State

He helped make Iowa State non I’d-rather-watch-Netflix programming. Last year’s Cyclone team gave Sage Rosenfels and J.J. Moses inspiration to brag on their Alma Mater (not that J.J. would do that, but he certainly could have! As for Sage, I’ll go scroll back through his twitter timeline). Monty (can I call him that?) can help a ground attack that stalled late in the season. He’s smaller than James Conner but has been compared to him.

Round 6

Wyatt Ray, DE, Boston College

Fun fact: The Texans have never had a player named Wyatt. Another fun fact: I wasn’t fooled by the Wyatt twist in Westworld (that’s actually a lie). Everyone talks about BC’s Zach Allen but Ray is no slouch with nine sacks and 11.5 tackles for loss. Edge rusher is one of those ‘you can never have enough’ positions. We all want to see what Duke Ejiofor does in Year 2. And I don’t have to remind you that a certain stellar player on this team is slated to be a free agent. So, since it’s February, I’m taking Ray.

Round 7

Trey Pipkins, OL, Sioux Falls

His name has me wishing he was a skill player. “Easy pickins for Pipkins!” and calls like that would be fun. The possibilities are endless. He’s the first-ever player from the University of Sioux Falls to get an invite to the combine. And I’ve been watching Sioux Falls games for… oh wait, I haven’t. But Pipkins is a big, athletic lineman who appears to be worth a shot here in the final round before Gaine’s crew hits the phones to sign the undrafted free agents.

Check out the best celebration shots from the 2018 season.

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